thistle;

Monday, October 09, 2006

ever had one of those damn shagged but fulfilling days?

today's one of them (:

jus got back hall from half a day of filming at cityhall with my 108 group members. it was crazy cabbing to cityhall from ntu and then back, and lugging the video camera and tripod around; but it was all good. it was my first ever outdoor filming and boy, i had fun :D

you know it's like i'm having so much fun, that it's kinda reminscent of my very first year in jc. where i was so caught up in the whirlwind of activities and awed by the transition period that studies were the last thing on my mind. add total independence to the equation right now, and it's pretty scary if you think about it. but it's like, fuck, this is where i wanted to be like all my life. since secondary school, my dream ever, was to get into ntu's mass communication. cos i figured that this is the only place i ever wanna be in. and no way am i gonna screw this up. my A level grades wasn't all that fantastic, though i'm still proud of my gp and literature grades; but it's like, i can't live in the past glory. right now, this is the present - pun totally intended. the present is the present, and i so will not fuck up.

i'm gonna work hard, and play hard too. and i have the next four years to do that. i so gotta up my ante, starting from now, and i don't wanna disappoint my parents and myself. it's like you have all the smart, sophisticated, and articulate people here and they're all beautiful to boot; it's freaking unfair. i got a long way to catch up,man. i don't feel particularly inferior, i mean - i am here, afterall, but i wanna stretch my potential. cos i know as of now, i sure ain't using much of it.

so as of now, studies is of top priority. but obviously it ain't gonna be what my whole uni-life is about - i'm in like two sub-committees in hall and am in the main committee for ntu's snooker club; but i ain't gonna let other things consume too much of my time or energy that i end up neglecting my studies. i mean, i actually know of people who are studying in mass comm and working at the same time, and i admire how they can actually cope. and right now the only thing i'm balancing studies with? -- having fun.

i am so not gonna let relationship matters take up too much of my time. anway i'm a commitment-phobe so that already helps somewhat. i've figured, i cannot and will not commit, not for this year at least. i just wanna have fun. and come on, i completely believe in platonic friendships, at least at one point or another. i really wonder wassup with some guys. i completely <3 singlehood and freedom.

and i hope i ain't turning alcoholic; i just had baileys shots and lots of other alcohol i can't remember what like a few nights in a row last week, ended up all red and high, but i had fun. as long as you have fun and know your limits, there's nothing wrong, eh (:

five more days to the big 2-0 :D

gawd, i realise i am so fucking abstract. i need to lay out some solid plans like now (:

icy fingers playing piano on my skin - 10:08 PM