3rd june - mash'd @ phuture
t'was the first time alcohol made me cry instead of laugh.
but thats not to say i didnt enjoy myself with my girls. i really, really <3 all my girls. all of you out there, seriously.
graceyu, erienne, reena, myself, huisi :)
<3
okay so theres actually 8 of us; 5 of us girls and 3 of them guys -yongsheng, nelson, wei li; but sorry didnt take too many of your pictures, guys. ha ha. next time, yeah.
the music at phuture was more of chill-out rock than music you can dance to, but it was good anyway. the mere company of my good girlfriends plus alcohol was more than anything i can ask for. and yeah, i got high. on long island, courtesy of reena. ha ha.
and it was prolly the combination of my low tolerance for alchohol plus my first time tasting long island and a confused state of mind which led me to break down outside the freaking club. and i vaguely remember rambling non-stop about stuff. i seriously hav no idea what i was thinking or doing.
i'm sincerely sorry if i screwed the night up for any one of you. but im just so, so thankful for the ones who stood by me and took care of me through the night. i really wouldnt know what i would hav done without you people. frankly, the night was a revelation of sorts.
and right now, i just hav to deal with the aftermath. which i hav absolutely zilch idea of how to go about dealing.
and i wouldnt feel half as bad as i do now if the mom isnt givin me crap as well. ohwells.
friends matter a hell lot to me and theres no doubt i will b affected and influenced by what they think, but the more i talk to them and listen to what they havta say, the more fcuking confused i get. bcuz i know ultimately i'm the one havin to make the decision for me. this is jus too hard. i'm confused and annoyed and irritated. im a fcuking escapist; i just want to escape, i dont wanna deal.
icy fingers playing piano on my skin - 7:52 PM