thistle;

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

today was an eventful day. not all positively eventful, though there is; but still eventful nevertheless. haha.

i used to kinda thought that i am pretty open; not not conservative-open, but trusting-open. but actually, i think i am selective as to what i am open about, i guess. i've pretty much no qualms telling you which guy i think is cute right now, but i realise its kinda shallow, huh. like even with my good friends, i dont really talk much about what i really really think inside most of the time, or about my family, or about past hurts and regrets. we talk, like heartfelt talks, but its mostly about guys, or i dontknow - some other kinda stuff that doesn't exactly or neccessarily reflect how i really am. not that im being a hypocrite la, but probably cause' i dontknow how to really express myself that well in verbal words. so i keep it all in, and write it all out in my diary.

but i know talking and talking frankly is so important, especially between good friends. and not just talking, but listening; because i tend to listen only when its convenient. haha, that's what my sister told me.

but its not like im some complex creature with lots of hidden thoughts inside me la, haha, i do tell my good friends what they should know about me too. and anyway, i think im rather simple, really. heh.

i used to think alot last time, especially during secondary school; but i suppose that was when i was still finding my real self, carving out an identity for myself. now that i've more or less found myself, or so i think, i tend to think less. haha.

i remember i used to ask my father some really weird questions when i was young, like why do we all look different although we have the same facial features like eyes and nose; or how do our thoughts look like and where do they come from? do we grasp at invisible thoughts in the air everytime we think of something? haha-the thoughts of a six-year-old.

i digress.

and i digress some more.

girl friends are so important, really they are. and i thank God for the good girl pals he has given me. you know who you are, some from way back in secondary school, some although only so recent but still heartwarming nevertheless.

guys come and go, but girl friends are forever =)

icy fingers playing piano on my skin - 9:38 PM