sometimes, the desire to run away to some far-off land where nobody knows you and you know nobody surfaces. where you get a new leash of life; new identity, new home, new friends, new perspective and new memories. especially when right now, everyone makes you out to be this way, and you're forever caught in the mould of who others think you to be; it would be quite a release to be able to start brand new. if only we all get our slates wiped clean when we want to.
i don't know why i keep thinking about what happened. it has been so long ago and the fact is that there were no genuine feelings. we ought to move on. i'm not in love with anybody, never was, and i wonder if i ever will be.
i see people changing girlfriends and boyfriends every so often and i get so sick and repulsed by it all. one moment you're leaning on his shoulder and the next you're holding another boy's hand.
frankly, i think teenagers shouldn't even get into relationships of any sort. we're just too fcuking immature, mistaking lust for love and in love only with love.
i've taken a rather lackadasical attitude regarding human relations recently. where once i would take the initiative if friendships were waning, i don't really bother much now.
ramblings, pardon me.
icy fingers playing piano on my skin - 5:41 PM
grace chen
14 october 86
ntu
communication studies
long bus-rides
thinking of the what-ifs
the occasional alcohol
music