it's two-ten a.m. now and i'm feeling freakin' emo.
haiix.
don't ask why. probably female hormones due to that time of the month.
i feel so darn inadequate without my six-two-three-oh! i can't freakin' take any pictures now! arghs. this absolutely sucks.
thats me and reena,saturday night before zouk
was using my sister's phone that night.
i realise my thoughts are really getting shallower nowadays. not that i used to think deep in the past anyway,but at least much more than right now. my english standard has also deteriorated like godknows what. haven't been reading as much as i used to. yeah so am reading angels and demons now but it's more for the plotline,the drama; i rarely learn new words from novels nowadays.
the brain is also now filled with thoughts of what clothes to buy,what movies to watch,money,partying,having fun; just all lame,meaningless shite. shallow shite. i wonder how people who spend their whole life preoccupied with all these stuff feel about their lives at the end of it all.
i never really feel satisfied after shopping even after i've bought what i wanted. either because a few months later my liking for it would probably have subsided and i would not wear it ever again,or a few months later something else catches my eye and i get all desperate trying to lay my hands on it.
tell me,where is the fufilment?
sure,as a girl i have absolutely nothing against shopping. retail therapy works for me,sometimes,too,hell yeah. but i get too damn sick of it too soon. i'm no shopaholic,man. maybe part of the reason is because i'm broke so i can't get so many things anyway,but even if i have lots of money like paris hilton does,i don't see that joy or fufilment in shopping my whole goddamned life away.
but then,when one doesn't shop,there's nothing much else to do in singapore.that's the problem,huh. freakin' old singapore. shopping malls are everywhere! if you don't shop,what is there to freakin' do?? yeah,maybe there's clubbing,maybe some tourists' attraction,movies,pool,sports...etc. oh my gawd, there's actually a whole other world out there other than shopping!!
revelation,anyone?
hurhur. i'm turning into a skeptic,or is that a cynic. anyway thats probably cause my enthusiasm always fizzles out fast lah.this fact probably permeates throughout every aspect of my life.like bgr and whatnot. like what pinghong told me today,san fen zhong re du,literally translated as 'three minutes of heat',which means a short moment of passion,or enthusiasm,as in my case. haha.
find me something that i can cling on and be interested in for a lifetime,man.
icy fingers playing piano on my skin - 5:50 PM